I have Aspergers

I was diagnosed last Tuesday with Aspergers, at the age of 38... and it still hasn’t fully sunk in.



My main reaction is happiness, even elation.  This is vindication  for years of wondering and questioning if I was different than others.  I first asked whether I might be on the autism spectrum in 2012, but each time it was dismissed.  This time I asked straight out for an assessment.  I was lucky in a way that my psychiatrist had experienced patients being diagnosed before where she didn’t see any difference.

A number of women have shared their stories about an adult diagnosis of autism recently.  Episode 200 of The Women’s Podcast gave me the impetus to look into this and start the journey that led me to my own diagnosis.

And now I want to add my voice to that of those other women.  My instinct is to shout from the rooftops that I have Aspergers, to let everyone know.  My Mum thought I shouldn’t even tell my son. She’s concerned that I’ll get labelled and that people will only see Aspergers when they see me.  I don’t have any such worries.  In fact I feel by being open about my diagnosis, especially to those who already know me, can only benefit me.  I’ll have an opportunity to share my experiences and grow understanding and knowledge of Autism Spectrum Disorder in adult women.

Personally I am still the same person today as I was last month.  What was the purpose of the assessment and getting diagnosed?  First, certainty.  Knowing for sure one way or the other was the reason I asked for this assessment in the first place.  Second, understanding.  My main expectation is that the knowledge I have Aspergers will help me and my therapist in the work we’re doing to treat my anxiety.  Finally, self-acceptance.  I no longer carry guilt and shame for all the times I haven’t been able to keep in touch with people or said the wrong thing.